An Elven Fellowship
by Jade Limill
Summary: Elrohir and Elladan take the ring to Mordor instead of Frodo. Chaos insues. AU. COMPLETE.
1. A Windy Council

An Elven Fellowship  
by Jade Limill  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot. Please don't sue.  
  
Chapter 1: A Very Windy Council  
  
"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old," Elrond announced to the council. "You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-Earth stands on the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this one fate, this one doom. Frodo, bring forth the ring." Frodo put it on the pedestal.  
  
"It is a gift. A gift to the foes of Mordor! Let us use it against the enemy! For long has the steward of Gondor kept back the dar--" Bormir started as a loud sound was heard and a terrible stench emitted from Gandalf. Everyone covered their noses and ran from the room, except for Gandalf.  
  
"Oh dear, too much of a good thing can be bad I've heard. Oh well," he said as he too ran for air.  
  
"As I was saying, let us you the ring against the enemy. Let us use the dark lord's ring against him!" Boromir finished when the council had returned, with claener air at the moment.  
  
"None can wield it! The ring answers to Sauron alone!" Aragorn replied to the stupid man who thought to use the ring.  
  
"And what would a ranger know of these matters?" Boromir sneered.  
  
"That is no mere ranger! That is Aragorn son of Arathorn, and you owe him your allegiance," Legolas stood up and said.  
  
"Aragorn. This is Islidur's heir?" Boromir asked.  
  
"And heir to the throne of Gondor," Legolas finished.  
  
"Havo dad, Legolas," Aragorn said.  
  
"Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king," Bormir said as he sat down, and followed it by a belch. Everyone ran from his bad breath. "But I brushed my teeth just last month!" He protested.  
  
"Aragorn is right. We cannot use it." Gandalf said simply.  
  
"You have only one-- alright who farted this time?" Elrond asked, annoyed. Everyone parted around Gimli and Gloin.  
  
"Oh, That's right! Blame the bloody dwarf! Always the bloody dwarf!" Gimli claimed innocence.  
  
"That's it! We will adjurn until the morning. And no more farts!" Elrond announced.  
  
"Elrohir! What are you doing? Don't go in there!" Elladan whispered loudly to his brother. "Glorfindel's cooking until the other guests go home."  
  
"I'm getting supplies. I'm the one he likes better, remember? And we need them if we're to go through with this plan of yours!" Elrohir replied in a whisper.  
  
"Okay, but be careful. Who knows what will happen if he catches you!" Elladan warned.  
  
Elrohir made it to the pantry and collected lembas. Then he turned to the door.  
  
"Oh, Elrohir! How nice to finally see you! Would you mind stirring these beans for me? I have to look for something else to cook, this is our last batch," Glorfindel requested as Elrohir stiired.  
  
He suddenly had an idea about how to make his twin's plan work. He glanced at Glorfindel to make sre he didn't see,then picked up the sleeping draught that was setting the counter for Frodo, and poured some into the beans.  
  
"Glorfindel, I hear Erestor calling me, gotta go!"Elrohir shouted as he ran out with the suplies.  
  
"What were you doing in there?" Elladan asked as he ran to the stables with Elrohir.  
  
"Glorfindel caught me. I drugged the beans. But I got the supplies," he explained.  
  
"You drugged the beans? Good idea. We should wait until they all sleep to get it."  
  
"I agree. Let's wait."  
  
By dusk everyone except for Elrond, Erestor and the twins were passed out, for they had not eaten dinner. Except for Legolas who ate lembas from Mirkwood instead.  
  
The twins found it relativly easy to get what they found. They galloped of into the night, taking the one ring with them.  
  
A/N: Okay, I hope you like it. I took scenes from the movie, because it was a little bit shorter, and just so you know, I really do like Glorfindel, but he was just too perfect for the kitchen scene. Please review.  
  
Jade Limill 


	2. Bloody Dwarves

An Elven Fellowship  
by Jade Limill  
  
Chapter 2: Bloody Dwarves  
  
"Elladan, please promise me something next time you decide to cook," Elrohir said after his first bite of scrambled eggs.  
  
"Sure, what do you want me to promise?" Elladan replied in a perky manner.  
  
"Don't. Let me. I'm a lot better than you."  
  
"Thanks, I feel so loved. Same goes next time hunt deer, though," he responded sourly.  
  
"Okay, now I feel so loved. Look, you had the ring yesterday, so how about I have it today and I'll give it back at night. We can trade it everyday so neither one of us gets too attached to it, okay?" Elrohir had an idea.  
  
"Okay, but I get it before we go to sleep. Where should we go now?" Elladan asked.  
  
"Easy. We go to Mordor. We destroy the ring. We go home. While stopping strategically in The Golden Wood to visit our grandmother so she won't be mad at us."  
  
"I've figured that part out. I'm talking about getting over the Misty Mountains. We could go by Moria, or we could go by Caradhras. You pick."  
  
"Fine. Caradhras. I can't stand dwarves. Bloody Dwarves. They drive me nuts. Always partying," Elrohir decided.  
  
"Alright, Elladan you can stop chanting now."  
  
"I'm not chanting! You are!" Elladan shouted back, or rather, forward.  
  
"I know that is you chanting. Haven't you ever heard of avalanches? They kill anyone who gets stuck in one! And you're going to cause one soon!"  
  
"Me! I am not chanting, so therefore I can not start and avalanche! You'll be the cause of it!" Elladan yelled as the chanting suddenly stopped.  
  
"Thank you!" Elrohir said. Just then they heard a rumbling sound. "Now would you kindly stop farting?"  
  
"I don't think that's a fart, Elrohir," Elladan said, looking up.  
  
Elrohir looked up in time to see snow dropping down on them.  
  
"That's it! We are going to Moria! I don't care how much the bloody dwarves drive you nuts. There is no way I am going all the way to LothLorien with snow dropping on us all the way!" Elladan exploded when they had dug their way into a cave made of stiff snow.  
  
"I will go see the dwarves this once. If I decide to kill myself, I will not be at fault," Elrohir replied as he struggled to light a fire out of dried healing herbs.  
  
"Okay, fine. Why are you burning our herbs? We could get hurt and--"  
  
"And the other can get more at LothLorien. Listen, we can set out at noon tomorrow, when it would be hottest. By the time we get to Moria, it will be evening," Elrohir replied cooly.  
  
A/N: Okay, first, please review, I'm addicted, second, this story is going to go fast just so you know.  
  
Reviews:  
  
lil-whitelighter111488: Don't worry, I refuse to let them turn evil, I'll just keep them as pranksters. I like your user name, do you watch charmed?  
  
crazy-haldir-fancier: Thanks, I'll try to keep it funny.  
  
Jade Limill 


	3. Stoned

Chapter 3: Stoned   
  
"Get this fire started on a cold, windy night, We are all waiting for sparks to arrive, Sending out a --"  
  
"Elladan, if you do not shut up right now, we are not having a fire tonight. Anyways, how would you know if it was cold or not? You can't feel the cold," Elrohir snapped at his annoying twin, cutting off any further songs his brother might have been singing.  
  
"When are we going to get to Moria? I want to see the dwarfies," Elladan complained.  
  
"Your obsession with dwarves is getting on my nerves. I told you we will arrive at the mines tomorrow."  
  
"Not soon-enough for me," he complained again.  
  
"Too soon for me," Elrohir also complained as the fire finally lit. He soon put on the rabbit they had caught, or rather Elrohir had, Elladan was too busy looking at a butterfly.  
  
"The gates, the gates. Elrohir, you can read Quenya, what do the gates say?" Elladan said.  
  
"The doors of Durin Lord of Moria, speak friend and enter. I, Narvi, made them: Celebrimbor of Hollin drew these signs. Happy?"  
  
"Yes, mellon-nin."  
  
"Are you so ashamed to call me brother?" Elrohir asked hurt.  
  
"Are you ashamed to call me brother? I am the one that opened these gates for you," Elladan announced proudly.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"I only called you my friend. The riddle was speak friend and enter, like the word friend. Friend is the password."  
  
"Congrata-freaking-lations. You figured it out. Oh, no. This is bad. Very, very bad." Elrohir said, looking around.  
  
They turned and ran for their sanity, but alas, it was not to be. A giant squid-thing came out of the water and shut the doors. And no matter how much pounding they did, neither elf could get out. They were forced to make the four day trek through the mines of Moria.  
  
"'ello, there. Are ya' lost? 'Cause if ya' are, would you mind coming to our party?" A voice asked.  
  
When the twins looked down, there stood three dwarves. Three dwarves in pink fur. And sandals. Three very, hairy dwarves in pink fur, sandals and shorts. Elrohir turned around and started pounding on the door, demanding to be let out again.  
  
"Sure, we'll come. But we have to get to the other side by next week, okay?" Elladan volunteered. The dwarves agreed and Elladan forcefully dragged his twin to room filled with smoke and rocks.  
  
Elrohir looked around and made another escape attempt, seeing naked dwarves in a stone jacuzzi, enough to make even a slut go blind, and all were smoking pipes, emitting the smoke. On the other side of the room, dwarves were playing the not so friendly game of twister, where you had to twist out of the way of rocks being thrown at you.  
  
Someone brought ale, and Elladan managed to convince Elrohir to have some, no knowing it was spiked with. . . things. Elrohir began hitting on all the dwarves hoping to come across the females sometime.  
  
The parties lasted while they were there and ever since the left also. Two weeks later, they emerged out of Moria and went towards the Golden Wood, expecting to be welcomed.   
  
On, the way, they bathed in a stream and put on their least smelly clothes, for they all smelled like dwarf smoke and ale. They wanted to impress their grandmother, but if they had wanted to do that, perhaps they should not have drugged her favorite guard. . .   
  
A/N: Okay, everyone. I just wanted a very annoying Elladan. The song at the beginning is a parody to Get This Party Started by Pink. I do not own it. The song by Pink, I mean. I made up the parody myself. feels special Any questions? No? Then review! Oh, you do have questions? Then Review!  
  
Replies:  
  
heidi of the woodland realm: Sorry, I haven't read it yet. Is it a tolkien book or a fanfiction story? Don't worry, I like the twins too, so they won't be hurt too much.  
  
Hyperactive Forever: lol, you'll see. But it'll be funny.  
  
crazy-haldir-fancier: I do try. Wait till they get to Lorien, I've just been warming you people up.  
  
lil-whitelighter111488: yep. I do watch Charmed whenever I can. It's a great show. I like Paige best. Or Leo. No evil twins in my story.  
  
Jade Limill 


	4. Madness

An Elven Fellowship  
By Jade Limill  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Galadriel's eyes got wider and wider as she continued looking in the mirror. Celborn thought briefly that if they got any wider, they might pop out. Or explode. Or maybe even implode.  
  
"Arragh! As if I don't already have enough trouble keeping Elrond under control, his little brats steal the ring and go into Moria of all places!" Galadriel exclaimed as she jerked her head up, and started to turn green and blue. The whole garden seemed to get darker.  
  
Oh, know. She's pissed again' Celeborn thought as he beat a hasty retreat to safer ground.  
  
"Moria! With dwarves make out and smoke all day! Why did they have to go to Moria?" Galadriel's voice grew deeper and she began looking creepy. Or creepier, really, Celeborn only married her because he thought she was pretty. Too bad it had been an illusion that shattered after Celebrian had been born.  
  
  
  
Elladan and Elrohir finally made it to the borders of Lothlorien around nightfall. They quickly were confronted by Haldir, who brought them up toa talan.  
  
"Haldir, surely it is okay to talk on the ground," Elrohir said.  
  
"Surely it is not! When my lady lookeds in her mirror, two days ago, I could here her sfcream of rage from my post. Here. All the way from Caras Galadhon. Grandchildren or not, I still fear for each of your lives, because believe me, she is pissed!" Haldir warned them.  
  
"Thanks for the warning, but if we don't stay here, where are we supposed to stay?" Elladan asked.  
  
"Have you tried Mirkwood? I know King Thranduil doesn't like noldor elves very much, but it's safer there than it is here. And that's saying a lot, considering the shape of Mirkwood these days." Haldir advised. "You can stay here for the night, but after that, you have to go."  
  
"Thanks, Hally," Elladan said and went to sleep.  
  
"Don't call me Hally!" Haldir hissed, but his glare was wasted on two sleeping elves.  
  
  
  
When Haldir awoke, the twins had helped themselves to his lembas. His perfectly counted lembas that he had counted to last him exactly two months, which was probably the time it would take for Galadriel to calm down.  
  
"Put tose down! Now I have to go back before two months are up and get more food!" Haldir reprimanded them as they dropped the hafl eaten lembas back in with his own.  
  
"Oh, we need to be going now, hope you don't mind! We left a present for you in your bag, too." Elrohir said as he and his brother started on their way.  
  
Ten minutes later, Haldir looked at his presents in horror, because they turned out to be a big, pink, fur cloak, and a pipe. His brother, Rumil, heard his scream three leagues away, at his post.  
  
Elladan and Elrohir heard it also, though they thought it was a scream of excitement.   
  
"Oh, look, Ro, I think he liked it," Elladan commented after the scream was done.  
  
"Yep, Dan, I'm sure he did. Are we almost there yet?" Elrohir replied.  
  
"Sorry, but no. I still don't know how Thranduil's going to acept us, we did drug his son. Oh, well, no help for it now."  
  
  
  
Legolas was riding home with all speed. Since the ring was missing and Elrohir and Elladan were also missing, there was no point in having a council. everyone had been dissmissed and sent home. He had stayed an extra week with his friend, Estel, but decided it was best to go home when all his best friend would do was watch Arwen at everyting.  
  
Legolas wasn't watching where he was going when he almost ran over two elves. Well, nearly three-quarter elves, anyway.  
  
"Elladan, Elrohir, what are you doing here?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Actually, we were going to Mirkwood. We heard they had good wine there," Elrohir said.  
  
"Well, I'm going there too. Why don't we go together, for that is where I am also going." Legolas said, and the twins hastily agreed.  
  
A/N: I know, it's short, but I'm a little pressed for time. I can only type when I don't have to watch my sister, and it seems like I have to watch her 24/7.  
  
Replies:  
  
Aduil Ohtar- Well, I wasn't going to put in the mirror at all, so I comprmised and put in Galadriel lokking in the mirror. Sorry about that.  
  
q- Well. . . . yes.  
  
crazy-haldir-fancier- I did put in Haldir, sorry, but I couldn't help not torturing him a bit. He'll be nicer at Helm's Deep. . . . maybe.  
  
Hyperactive Forever- Maybe so, do you always sing the song that never ends or the song that gets on verbody's nerves? They're my favorite ones.  
  
lil-whitellighter111488- I'm trying to make Elladan the annoying one, but they are twins, after all . . . . Anywho, did you see the season premiere on Charmed? Can't believe what they did to Chris! 


	5. Welcoming Parties

An Elven Fellowship  
By Jade Limill  
  
Chapter 5: Welcoming Party  
  
Elrohir sat down on the side of the road.  
  
"I am not going any farther until I have had two hours rest, and something other than lembas to eat." Elladan sat down beside him.  
  
"I agree with him. We should not have let our horses go when we went through Moria," Elladan agreed glumly.  
  
Legolas stopped his horse and dismounted, walking over to them and leading his horse.  
  
"I think it was an act of compassion if what you tell me about your time in Moria is true. We can rest here for a whole day, then we must hurry on towards Mirkwood, for I promied my father to be home by winter, and there's only eight days left of fall." Legolas replied, sitting beside the two half-elves.  
  
Elrohir- ::glares at narrator:: I am NOT a half-elf! I am 73.5% elven, 23.5% human, and 3% maiar! Don't call me a half-elf again!  
  
Narrator- ::shrinks back:: okay, I'll change it. Hold on. Please don't kill me!  
  
Elladan- And it sounds like Legolas is a girl, change that too!  
  
Legolas- ::notches arrow at narator's head:: I'm not someone who jumps at my father's command.   
  
"I envy the horses," Legolas muttered and then said a little louder, "I guess we can rest a little while." He sat down by his part-elven companions.  
  
.  
  
Three days later, Legolas rode up to the gate at his father's halls, and loudly demanded to be let in before his company made him go mad. There was confusion as none could see his company until the twins dragged themselves up behind him as they were let in.  
  
King Thranduil of the Woodland Realm gave a welcome feast in their honor, and the twins found him quite most welcoming than their grandmother had been. There was deer meat, roast pig, grilled vegatables, bread and fruit, and, of course, wine.  
  
King Thranduil had the most wine, but he never seemed to get drunk. Unfortunately, it was not the same for the twins. Elrohir decided to hit on every lady at the feast, and left with the Princess of Mirkwood. Elladan, onthe other hand, decided to give a poetry recital, of how dwarves threw the best feasts and parties. Thranduil glared at each twin, and grew redder and redder as the night went on.  
  
  
  
"Legolas, you need punishment for bringing them here!" Thranduil declared the next day in his study.  
  
"What kind of punishment?" Legolas asked, bored.  
  
"Clean out the stables," Thranduil decreed.  
  
"The stables! But they haven't been cleaned since the Last Alliance!" Legolas complained. "Not those! Anything! I'll do anything else!"  
  
"Anything?" Thranduil said coyly.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Fine. Accompany the twins on their trip to Mordor. And don't come back unless the ring has been destroyed!" Thranduil decreed. Legolas paled and fled the room, too shocked to protest.  
  
  
  
"Legolas, your sister is most likely the best lay I've had so far!" Elrohir said.  
  
"Ha! Most likelythe best one you ever will have!" Elladan retorted.  
  
Legolas continued searching in his saddlebags for the earplugs he made sure were packed. He was sure he put them under the protective gloves and knoife he carried. You never knew what would happen next with the twins along.  
  
Legolas grasped the knife, and let go of it with great reluctance.  
  
"Hey, Legolas!" Elladan hailed him. "What were those odd shaped peices of beeswax dooing inyour bag? Elrohir and I had to throw them out. Therte was to honey left in them."  
  
The elf's screams were heard in the Golden Halls of King Theoden, where they interrupted Grima Wormtongue telling Theoden that he was to old to make out. it was too gross. Even Denethor looked up long enough from trying to kill his son for not getting the ring. Sauron cocked his eye at the elf.  
  
/Interesting./ He thought. /A new form of torture./  
  
  
  
Elrohir stop in front of the gates of the Golden Halls.  
  
"Hello!" He announced. Every soldier in a mile radius ran fro their sanity. Theoden looked horrible, and Elladan took Wormtounge out for a drink.  
  
For some reason, no one ever saw Wormtounge again. King Theoden got better, five minutes after he heard that the twins were within a thousand miles. Then he ordered all of his people to Helm's Deep, and invited Legolas to come with them.  
  
Legolas accepted, and took the twins with him.  
  
Elladan stood on a precipice with an orc army below him. Swords, bows, and arrows were aimed at his back.  
  
"The people of Helm Deep say we can come drink with you anytime!" Elladan shouted as the orcs and Uruk-Hai all laughed at him. Elrohir stepped up.  
  
"They also say to tell you that are the Imladris twins, the Sons of Elrond, and we really want toi come have a drink with you!" elrohir shouted.  
  
The orcs suddenly decided to screw Saruman and Sauron, nothing was worth having a drink with the twins. Every one of them died, as they were shot down trying to escape.  
  
More ale, beer and wine was brought out, while Elrohir and Eowyn disappeared for the night. Elladan sang with men until he passed out. Legolas attempted to escape with his sanity more or less intact. When a man cornered him in a hall, asking for something, he fainted.  
  
A/N: I know you all probably hate me, I've been trying to make it funny, but making it funny and going with the total story line kind of makes it hard. Please don't kill me. Two Sons of Elrond and a Mirkwood Prince are already about to.  
  
Replies:  
  
kathysidle- thanks. I try.  
  
aduil Ohtar- Maybe Galadriel will see the twins after they destroyed the ring.  
  
Hyperactive Forever- yes, yes very smart. LOL.  
  
lil-whitelighter111488- I hope so! But I don't think so, because they have baby Chris there now.  
  
Jade Limill 


	6. Crazy Humans

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I ran out of ideas, but now I know what's going to happen (hopefully), and I am going to update.  
  
Chapter 6: Crazy humans  
  
Legolas woke when he heard Elrohir and Elladan coming behind him. They were dragging him over to a horse. And both were cursing ale, beer, and any other kind of liquor they could think of, due to the massive hangovers both were suffering from.   
  
Legolas and the twins mounted on their horse, and rode off to Gondor. unfortunately, or fortunately, in Legolas's case, Eomer stopped them on their way out.  
  
"We need someone to head off the corsairs, so we actually have a fighting chance," Eomer said.  
  
"I'll go!" Legolas jumped at the chance to get away from the twins.  
  
"Well, you're going to have to go by the paths of the dead," Eomer said. Legolas shuddered.  
  
"I'll go to Gondor," Legolas volunteered. "Elrohir and Elladan can go by the paths of the dead."  
  
"But--" The twins protested at the same time when Eomer cut them off.  
  
"So be it. You should hurry up, it will be dark soon, and you might not want to be in there during dark." Eomer slipped away, and Legolas was already riding over the hills to Gondor.  
  
$$$$$  
  
"Oh, we'll be comin' round the mountain when we come. Oh, we'll be comin' round the mountain, we'll be--"   
  
"Elladan, if you do not shut up this instant, I will cleave the head from your shoulders," Nami said. Nami had been stuck with Elrohir and Elladan on the paths of the dead for three days, and was ready to face anything, so long as it got him away from these two idiots.  
  
"Oh, Nami, you are my eternal savior," Elrohir commented. Suddenly, the dead rose up in front of them.  
  
"What do you want?" They asked.  
  
"We are the sons of Elrond, and we have come to ask you to help us." Elrohir said.  
  
"Hmm. . . interesting concept, helping someone. . . um, let me thin about that. No." The leader said.  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No." And so it continued for two hours. finally Elladan had had enough.  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"No, huh?"  
  
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes: Bum-Bum-Bum. I know a song--" Elladan started singing, and Elrohir when he got tired, and even Nami, once in a while.  
  
Two days later. . .   
  
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's--" Nami sang.  
  
"Stop! We'll do anything you ask, just please, stop." The leader begged.  
  
"Okay. thanks, dude." Elrohir said.  
  
$$$$$  
  
Legolas got to Gondor and was immediately granted an audience with the mad king. Not mad as in angry, mad as in insane.  
  
"I have come to warn you, Elrohir and Elladan are coming this way with the One Ring. There is nothing you can do to stop them. I beseech you, arm your walls with men and await an attack on Mordor." Legolas said. The Steward screamed like a girl and crawled up onto his throne.  
  
"Kill them. Kill them all!" He thundered when he had recovered. Men hurried to do his bidding.  
  
$$$$$  
  
A/N: A little short, but I wanted everyone to realize that I have not abandoned this story, and will update it when I feel the time is right. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, as I am short on time, I'll answer reviews in the next chapter.  
  
Jade Limill 


	7. Ring Toss

A/N: I have a few hours on my hands, so I figured I had better update this fic. This is the next to last chapter, as I have major writer's block.

Chapter 7: Ring Toss

Elladan and Elrohir simply walked into Shelob's Lair. Shelob came and hissed at them. They did the only think they could think of. They laughed.

Shelob stopped hissing and stared at them, confused. Never in her very long life had anyone laughed when she hissed at them. Now they were rolling on the ground. Shelob got mad and crawled over to them, towering above them. Finally they stopped laughing.

"I'm sorry, but why are standing there glaring at us with those lovely eyes?" Elladan decided to sweet talk the spider. Shelob looked confused again. No one had ever said how lovely her eyes were. They made disgusting comments about them, but never called them lovely. She tilted her head to one side.

"We're really sorry that we intruded, Miss Shelob," Elrohir caught on and continued. "We just need to destroy the One Ring so Sauron will not rule the world. It would be a shame if he forgot about your pretty face and decided to kill you."

Shelob thought about that. The elf had called her Miss, and thought she had a pretty face, and the other one liked her eyes. She made a decision.

Elrohir and Elladan looked up in surprise as Shelob spun web around their lower halves. She picked them up and walked through her lair to the other side, where she set them down and left. She soon came back with bags of web. Then she left again, sealing her lair against other intruders.

"What do you think that was about?" Elladan asked as he peeled the web off of him.

"I think she was wishing us good luck. And helping us," Elrohir replied, as he found the bags contained fresh water and dead bats, obviously to eat.

The twins continued on to Mt. Doom. They ran out of water soon, and after they ran out of food, forced themselves to eat the bats. Elrohir strongly suspected that there was orc meat in there, too, but he didn't mention his suspicions. Finally, after many near misses with orcs, they came upon the mountain.

Elladan was carrying the ring that day, or night, no one could tell. They traded when they felt tired. Elladan held it up to throw it in, and paused. He could rule the world. He could be greater than Sauron.

The poor thing would have taken over the world then and there, if not for his twin. Elrohir thought he saw micate. And being the big rock collecter he was, he reached down to get it. He overbalanced, and instead of grabbing his brother for support, he grabbed the ring.

When the ring left the elder twin's hand, his near-sanity returned. He saw his brother falling and caught him. Elrohir let go of the ring so that he could use both hands to get up.

"Damn. I wanted to do a ring toss," Elrohir said when he got up. When the volcano began to erupt, they ran for their lives. They banged on Shelob's door, declaring how beautiful she was and could they please come in.

The twins were never heard from again after they entered there, though everyone was relieved they never showed up again. They could only imagine what HORRIBLE things Shelob did to them.

"Well, they were always trying to get some. I wonder if they liked it when they finally did," Legolas often joked.

And Arda was at peace for the rest of eternity.

THE END.

**A/N: I know, I know, not the ending you expected, and a little sick. Let's just say I have a twisted mind. Of course, no one knows what Shelob did to them, so I'm just going to say she had an obsession with door ornaments. Especially talking ones.**

**Replies: **

**Dalamar- **_Maybe you had better._

**Ysuran- **_Probably not. But you never know._

**Hyperactive Forever- **_Good for you!_

**Aki- **_Thanks._

**LadyFeanorGreenleaf- **_Thanks._


End file.
